I realize this post is old but I figured I would comment on it anyways. I think one of the biggest struggles for teens is to "fit in". We all want to belong and be a part of the crowd, at least for the most part. Today's culture is telling us sexy is in and modest is out.
All the movies and TV shows are showing women with their mid drifts showing and tight pants and shirts. It also shows guys not respecting women and their commitment to their spouse (Desperate Housewives, and other shows).
I think the stumbling block for women doesn't really have anything to do with how guys dress, but how they react. I don't know for sure, seeing how I'm male and not female, but it seems that girls would like the attention from the good looking guy in math class. One way to get that attention is by a combination of dress and attitude.
I think for a lot of guys our view of women is becoming jaded by "the media". Hugh Hefner has made a fortune exploiting women and turning them into objects rather than human equals. While Christian guys may not directly view women as such, their personal views are still challenged at school and elsewhere.
It seems the pressures of sex and sexiness are being sought after at a younger age. I think parents also play a big role in modesty. When children are young the parents are usually the ones that dress them. I'm seeing more little girls wearing two pieces and clothes with suggestive wording.
So, as a society we are causing some of the problem for the younger generations. We are telling the media that is okay to display women and men is a sexually charged situation (Bachelor, Big Brother, Sex and the City, and other shows). In fact some of these shows get such high ratings that the produces take the events even further.
If we aren't aware of what our children/teens are watching then we are contributing to their lack or reduction of modesty. I think one thing parents really need to do is not take anything for granted.
My kids can't use their cell phone for anything bad. Guess what, wrong. Almost every new phone comes with a camera. What happens when you get teens with hormones off the charts and a camera? You can get pictures that lead to embarrassment (sexting), plus criminal charges.
So I think the whole modesty issue has a lot more than just clothes. It includes our attitudes and reactions to the actions we get. For guys I would suggest reading the book Every Young Man's Battle, there is an updated version coming out on the 18th of August. For girls there is the book, Every Young Woman's Battle. The links are below, I also have a copy of the older version for men.
But again, modesty is more than just how we dress, it encompasses our entire being. It is our actions, our words, our dress, our reactions, our beliefs and a lot more.
This is a topic that we could spend a year covering. It has so much depth and different angles. Theresa I haven't been involved with youth group lately but have they covered this area much since February?
That is all for now, feel free to respond. The message board seems to be pretty empty, lot of topics, little discussion. Lets get talking.
http://www.amazon.com/Every-Young-Mans-Battle-Strategies/dp/0307457990/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249494823&sr=8-1
http://www.amazon.com/Every-Young-Womans-Battle-Sex-Saturated/dp/1578568560/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249494823&sr=8-4
Post from VSN Discussion about Modesty
Addiction to buying
Have you ever thought of yourself as addicted to buying things? Not just a pack of gum here, a new shirt there. But the desire to compile the latest technology, the latest style of clothing? I wouldn't classify myself as addicted to buying things, but rather lying to myself about simplicity.
I am constantly telling myself I could really use a flat screen LCD HDTV television because I could plug my computer into it and it would take up less space in our home. There is also the long lens I want for the camera, a new Mac that has the latest video editing equipment, a better video camera, another car, our own home, golf shoes, rechargeable battery pack for the X-box 360 controller, and the list goes on.
It doesn't help when the tv is littered with ads about what is new and what you need in your home. It is true that there are thousands of items that can make our lives easier, but do we need them? Probably not.
When Lizzy and I were first married we were within walking distance to Wal-Mart. We went there at least 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes it was for food or a simple item. But almost every time we came home with something we didn't need. With every move into a new home, we have gotten further away from stores. Which is probably a good thing.
The accumulation of "stuff" just shows that we are gullible to the advertising, myself included. I think one of the exciting things about buying something is that you now have something new to use or look at. In our day and age we quickly become bored with stuff and need something new on a constant basis.
Lately I have been trying to sell the stuff I don't use and either save the money or put it towards something else. For instance I'm trying to sell one tv to get a better but smaller one. So in essence it's still something new, but I am trying to buy it with money from the old one.
Do we really need two TVs? Probably not, but by getting rid of one at a price I can save up for another instead of buying a new one then trying to sell the old one. In the Bible Jesus talks about how nothing we have here will go with us to heaven except our soul.
Your soul won't be able to carry your 52" HDTV with your surround sound system to heaven, even if it playing Billy Graham. I think we fail to remember that earth is our temporary home. We are essentially aliens, we do not belong here but are visiting.
I think the media puts pressure on us to buy things and our neighbors. We all look at each other and what each other has and either decides not for me, or I need to get one of those. More often than not it is probably "I need to get one of those."
For some people the addiction of buying things puts their family at risk. They max out multiple credit cards, lie to their spouse, and end up hurting the family. I encourage you to be aware of your spending, think about the need vs. the want. And if you really need to buy something new or want to, do your research. Find out where the best deal is.
It is never a good idea to buy without intention. What I mean by this is, if you walk into the store not planning to buy a tv and walk out of the store with a tv, you probably didn't need it and made a bad decision. If we only bought what we went to get we would probably save close to 1,000 dollars a year if not more. There are so many times we walk out of the store with a movie and something else we didn't need.
Spending isn't bad, just be wise about it and plan ahead.
SNL
So I've noticed lately that a lot of shows including SNL have incorporated sex/shock into their shows. Instead of being funny, they try to see how far they can push it before turning people off. I never really watched SNL before, however, we all know some of the great skits, Da Bears.
It seems lately, no one really talks about the show. Lizzy and I have turned it off multiple times due to either stupidity or too much sex themed skits. Writing a good skit isn't about pushing the limits but rather writing believable characters who people can relate too.
From the few skits I have seen, there are too many characters who are exactly the same. I'm not sure if it's the writers or the actors, but every actor's character seems to be the same from skit to skit. If I was in charge of SNL I would find multiple actors who are excellent at impromptu acting and who could feed off each other.
You want the skits where something goes unplanned and everyone cracks up. It doesn't seem like that's happening anymore. All the experienced talent left for other jobs. Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fay, Amy Poehler, etc.
I think it's either time to scrap SNL or take a break to bring in experience and variety.